² years ² months

Today is September 8th, 2020. I'm 2 years and 2 months into my journey. And this has been a tough 9 months. You know, pandemic, social distancing, stores closing, restaurants closed, negativity, family issues, etc. I'm holding at around the same weight, within 4 pounds. So I can't complain. 

I really need to get serious about taking my vitamins, exercising and eating healthier. But I'm not going to lie about my journey. I struggle with eating healthy. My portion size is good. Pray for me that I get my mindset on the right path. 

Last of the testing...

This is an old post. I forgot to publish it and so when I did it put 2/27/20 as the date.

Time is getting close! And I'm getting a little nervous. Not scared or worried, just the normal jitters about it.

I do not fear this surgery. I know it is the right decision for me. I feel proud of what I have accomplished so far. I've changed the way I eat. I've changed how much I eat. I've lost weight. I'm healthier than I was 6 months ago. And now I'm ready for this big change.

Saturday I went for my blood work for the surgery. I also had to have a chest x-ray. It was a super busy day with after having the test we had to run to Hertford to a ballgame for my grandson. Then back home to get dressed for our niece, Kimberly's wedding. Before the wedding, my phone rings and there's a problem with my blood test. They need me to come back in on Monday and they draw some blood. 

Things I've Noticed

This is an old post. I forgot to publish it and so when I did it put 2/27/20 as the date. 


So since my surgery, I've noticed some things.

1. I definitely spent too much money on clothes over the years.
2. I still love food.
3. I refuse to fail. I may screw up from time to time but I refuse to fail at this new way of life.
4. I do not take compliments well at all. It's not that I don't appreciate them, it's that I just don't know how to take them.
5. Again, I refuse to fail! REFUSE!
6. I believe I've transferred my love for food to shopping. I still love food.

I'm going to make it. I'm going to thrive.

6 Month Check-Up

This is an old post. I forgot to publish it and so when I did it put 2/27/20 as the date. 


January 3rd, 2019 I went for my 6-month check-up.
I had taken blood-work on the 26th of December, 2018.
Well, the first thing I have to say is...I'm under 200 pounds. 196.5 to be exact! I'm so excited!
My blood results were excellent!
My A1C is 4.9. The cholesterol is 150.
Also, my blood pressure is 126/52, but then my BP has always been great. My pulse was 64bpm.
I'm doing great!

The Loss of a Doctor

This is an old post. I forgot to publish it and so when I did it put 2/27/20 as the date. 


I've never had to go through this before. When you find out your doctor no longer works for the surgical group you are part of, what do you do?

I feel lost. I feel like I've lost a friend. My doctor did a lot for me. He helped me when I couldn't help myself.
Not only did I lose my doctor, but I also lost my dietician and then another person at the surgical practice. It was all devastating.

The Good, The Bad & The OMG

I have to say there is good, bad & omg in my life since this surgery.

Being able to actually have fun playing with my grandkids without getting worn out.

The good is I'm off almost all medications. I have an ulcer so I have to take medicine for that. I'm off of insulin, metformin, cholesterol and asthma medicines, as well as my CPAP machine. All of that right there is AMAZING for me! I also have more energy. I'm so much more active. I rode a roller coaster for goodness sake....although it wasn't what I was thinking it was. (UGH! I hate roller coasters). I ride bikes. I walk. Heck, I've actually ran, not much but I've ran! I do shop a bit too much now. I have lots of clothes but feel like I need more. I can't seem to ever find anything I want to wear but anyways back to the good. Shoes, I've lost a shoe size and I can wear regular width shoes now. People give me clothes! Love love love getting clothes! Keep em coming!

The bad...People are rude & petty. I hear so many times.." oh that's nice but I lost my weight on my own"...." you're pretty now"...." oh I bet you have a lot of hanging skin"(and then curl their lip up in disgust at me).  My usual response to these comments is a fake smile at them and nodding my head and then something slightly snarky. Now the conversation going on in my mind is a different story.

Them:"Oh that's nice but I lost my weight on my own"

Mind: mhm you got sick and that's how you lost your weight. You're still not healthy.

Them: But you look good

Me: Um yeah thank you

Them: " You're pretty now"

Me: *blink blink blink*

Mind: Um I was pretty before...outside and inside....it's a shame you are so petty

Me: Um thanks.

Me also not being able to stand it: Wasnt half bad before but that's my opinion (walks away leaving them with their mouth opened)

Them: *stumbling over their big mouth* I-I-I um...(mouth clamped shut)

Them: " Oh I bet you have a lot of hanging skin" (lip curling in disgust)

Me: (that fix your face moment look) Not really. It's not horrible. It's not perfect but I'm ok with it and so is Doug...*blink blink blink*

Mind: Seriously....that's what you focus on? You focus on my little bit of loose skin when your boobs are hanging below your waist? Ugh....Jesus loves me this I know.

Also the bad...I still look at the plus size clothes and want to but things. I see the flaws in me. I need reassurance at times(thank you Doug, I love you). Sometimes I think I'm more insecure now than I was at 309 pounds. I see the skin on my neck. I feel like I look old at times. I know I'm old.(Not really old just not young). When I take pictures I rarely post them because I see ALL the flaws. I feel like people judge the way I look all the time. I'm terrified of gaining the weight back. I'm terrified of disappointing Doug, my doctor. I don't want to be that person that fails at this.

People think this journey has been easy on me. It hasn't. I screw up all the time. I crave chocolate. I crave savory food. I CRAVE! I'm never thirsty. I hate taking my vitamins. I despise taking pills of any kind.

The OMG:

The people that see me and get sooo loud when telling me how good I look...lol I know that doesn't seem like a bad thing BUT when you're in a public place and someone VERY LOUDLY exclaims "OMG IS THAT YOU? OMG YOU LOOK (SUPER SUPER LOUD) AMAZING!" and people stop and turn around to see what the commotion is. (Floor please just open up and take me...take me now).

Yeah it happens. It happens a lot. Don't get me wrong I love the person that did it. Love her to death but I DO NOT like to be the center of attention.

More OMG:

The feeling of stepping on the scales and reaching a goal weight.

Buying a pair of pants in a smaller size.

When you put on an outfit that's form-fitting and seeing the look on your husband's face. 💓💓💓

Getting your rings resized because they fell off multiple times.

Standing up while reaching over and putting your shoes on.

Shaving your legs without struggling.

There's so much more.

The BEST:

Seeing the look on my husband's face. That right there means more than it all.

My children & their spouses have been so supportive and I thank all of you. I love you all. 

I have to say thank you to my wonderful husband. Hes amazing. Hes been so supportive. He's spent so much money on me. (food I wanted but couldn't tolerate. Clothes after clothes that became too big very quickly). But thank you for being with me all the way through this and for loving me like you do. I love you so much. LOL there's more but now I'm crying while typing this.

Goal....Score....BAM!

Yes, I'm celebrating! I'm a little late posting this but that's ok.
This was my facebook post for July 9th, 2019 & July 11th;

Today, July 9th marks a year since I had gastric bypass. I started the process in January 2018 at my heaviest weight. I had a lot of meetings, classes, and appointments to go through. It was a 6-month long process to get a surgery date. This isn't something I just jumped in to. I've been trying to have this surgery a long time but no insurance for years and then when I did have insurance it wouldn't cover bariatric surgery. Finally, they decided to cover it. I had to have many different doctors clearance from primary care to cardiologist. 6 months of nutrition education. It's nothing like it was 20 years ago.

I've had people beg me not to have it. I've had people tell me I was going to die. I've had people tell me I took the easy way out. Obviously, I ignored them. As far as taking the easy way out? Talk to me when you're on a diet and can only eat 1 ounce of food 3 times a day for a month. Talk to me when you eat 1 bite too much and you feel like your stomach is ripping open,  your chest is going to explode and you break out into a cold sweat and end up losing everything you ate. Lol yeah, I took the easy way out. But enough about that.

The day I came home from the hospital my doctor took me off my insulin and metformin. Later I took myself off of my cholesterol medicine. I no longer use a CPAP machine. I don't snore anymore. It's been a life-changer.

Doug and I are so much more active. We ride bikes, go for walks, tent camping and a lot more.
Since January I have lost 149 pounds. I've gone from a size 26/28(4x) to a 10-12(med.-large). I've even dropped a shoe size. I have felt amazing!
Right now I have an ulcer so I'm on some medicines but I still would do this all over again. It's worth it. It's not easy. It's hard at times.
Doug Brickhouse has been my number 1 supporter. He cheers me on and gives me the look when I eat something I shouldn't. He's my food police. :-) I need it at times! My children and their spouses have been supportive also. My friends and family have been there for me from the beginning. I can't thank them enough for all they have done to help me.
So many people have cheered me on and I thank each and every one of them.
Last but not least I thank God. Without Him, none of this would be possible.

Before picture was taken October of 2017 at Courtney and Justin wedding. After was taken today. (Doug made me pose a little lol).

July 11th, 2019 post:

At support group tonight I earned my pin for getting to my goal weight. I've been waiting for this day. #goals #ididit #notdonethough

I mess up a lot but I'm not giving up. I refuse to go back to where I was. I'm not perfect. I cheat on my diet from time to time. I'm not proud of that at all.  It's not that I wasn't a happy person when I weighed over 300 pounds cause I was to a point. I loved my husband then and my children and grandchildren. I loved my friends and family. I didn't love myself. I still have some issues with that but I'm getting there. I like myself now. Do I like the sagging arms? Absolutely not but those wings are my badge. They are mine and if others don't like how they look they don't have to look. 

I'm not one for being the center of attention. I actually hate having the focus on me. But I also didn't like hearing people say things under their breath when I walked across the room. When I bent over. People that were supposed to be friends...even family make jokes that they thought I didn't hear. It's ok cause I've got a big heart and sometimes that can be a problem cause I tend to forgive things like that and move on even though it did hurt me. It's part of life and it goes on.