The Good, The Bad & The OMG

I have to say there is good, bad & omg in my life since this surgery.

Being able to actually have fun playing with my grandkids without getting worn out.

The good is I'm off almost all medications. I have an ulcer so I have to take medicine for that. I'm off of insulin, metformin, cholesterol and asthma medicines, as well as my CPAP machine. All of that right there is AMAZING for me! I also have more energy. I'm so much more active. I rode a roller coaster for goodness sake....although it wasn't what I was thinking it was. (UGH! I hate roller coasters). I ride bikes. I walk. Heck, I've actually ran, not much but I've ran! I do shop a bit too much now. I have lots of clothes but feel like I need more. I can't seem to ever find anything I want to wear but anyways back to the good. Shoes, I've lost a shoe size and I can wear regular width shoes now. People give me clothes! Love love love getting clothes! Keep em coming!

The bad...People are rude & petty. I hear so many times.." oh that's nice but I lost my weight on my own"...." you're pretty now"...." oh I bet you have a lot of hanging skin"(and then curl their lip up in disgust at me).  My usual response to these comments is a fake smile at them and nodding my head and then something slightly snarky. Now the conversation going on in my mind is a different story.

Them:"Oh that's nice but I lost my weight on my own"

Mind: mhm you got sick and that's how you lost your weight. You're still not healthy.

Them: But you look good

Me: Um yeah thank you

Them: " You're pretty now"

Me: *blink blink blink*

Mind: Um I was pretty before...outside and inside....it's a shame you are so petty

Me: Um thanks.

Me also not being able to stand it: Wasnt half bad before but that's my opinion (walks away leaving them with their mouth opened)

Them: *stumbling over their big mouth* I-I-I um...(mouth clamped shut)

Them: " Oh I bet you have a lot of hanging skin" (lip curling in disgust)

Me: (that fix your face moment look) Not really. It's not horrible. It's not perfect but I'm ok with it and so is Doug...*blink blink blink*

Mind: Seriously....that's what you focus on? You focus on my little bit of loose skin when your boobs are hanging below your waist? Ugh....Jesus loves me this I know.

Also the bad...I still look at the plus size clothes and want to but things. I see the flaws in me. I need reassurance at times(thank you Doug, I love you). Sometimes I think I'm more insecure now than I was at 309 pounds. I see the skin on my neck. I feel like I look old at times. I know I'm old.(Not really old just not young). When I take pictures I rarely post them because I see ALL the flaws. I feel like people judge the way I look all the time. I'm terrified of gaining the weight back. I'm terrified of disappointing Doug, my doctor. I don't want to be that person that fails at this.

People think this journey has been easy on me. It hasn't. I screw up all the time. I crave chocolate. I crave savory food. I CRAVE! I'm never thirsty. I hate taking my vitamins. I despise taking pills of any kind.

The OMG:

The people that see me and get sooo loud when telling me how good I look...lol I know that doesn't seem like a bad thing BUT when you're in a public place and someone VERY LOUDLY exclaims "OMG IS THAT YOU? OMG YOU LOOK (SUPER SUPER LOUD) AMAZING!" and people stop and turn around to see what the commotion is. (Floor please just open up and take me...take me now).

Yeah it happens. It happens a lot. Don't get me wrong I love the person that did it. Love her to death but I DO NOT like to be the center of attention.

More OMG:

The feeling of stepping on the scales and reaching a goal weight.

Buying a pair of pants in a smaller size.

When you put on an outfit that's form-fitting and seeing the look on your husband's face. 💓💓💓

Getting your rings resized because they fell off multiple times.

Standing up while reaching over and putting your shoes on.

Shaving your legs without struggling.

There's so much more.

The BEST:

Seeing the look on my husband's face. That right there means more than it all.

My children & their spouses have been so supportive and I thank all of you. I love you all. 

I have to say thank you to my wonderful husband. Hes amazing. Hes been so supportive. He's spent so much money on me. (food I wanted but couldn't tolerate. Clothes after clothes that became too big very quickly). But thank you for being with me all the way through this and for loving me like you do. I love you so much. LOL there's more but now I'm crying while typing this.